[cheerful music playing]
[Cindy] One of the best things about making movies with Benji
is getting to travel around with him
on personal appearance tours after the movies are made.
We were in Europe on just such a tour
when this little village in Switzerland
invited us to be grand marshals at their Christmas parade.
It sounded like a great side trip,
so off we went to this wonderful little village
in the mountains, with snow, and sleighs, and jingle bells.
And I remember saying at the time,
"There couldn't possibly be a more Christmasy place
in all the world."
Little did I know how right I was.
[speaking German]
[Cindy reading]
[Cindy continues reading]
-[carolers singing] -[bells jingling]
[speaking German]
[carolers continue singing]
-Ah, welcome! -[chuckles] Thank you.
[speaking French]
And look at that face!
Welcome to Zermatt, and a merry Christmas to you.
-[Patsy] Thank you. -[Cynthia] Thank you.
And may I say how privileged and proud we are
to have you in our Christmas parade.
-And we are so happy to be here.
-Good.
-[Cindy] Are you a priest? -Priest?
I'd rather not.
-I am Kris Kringle. -[Cindy] Kris Kringle?
You don't look anything like our Santa Claus.
Well, of course not.
Kris Kringle is what Santa Claus looks like
in Germany.
Rather, what Santa Claus used to look like in Germany.
But there is a movement afoot to bring me back, exactly
as you see me now.
Bring you back to Germany with a British accent?
Uh, well, as Kris Kringle, Santa Claus and St. Nicholas,
I must endeavor to be everything to everybody,
and I should not be caught showing any favoritism
in any one direction, at any certain time.
No, no, no. Yes, well...
[clears throat] What accent would you prefer?
An American accent!
A southern American, if my guess is correct.
-Texas. -Texas.
[in southern accent] Well, I'm as happy
as a hen on a June bug,
to think you all came all the way from Texas.
Which reminds me, I have some friends
who would sell their boots, sell their boots to see Benji.
But they can't come to the parade because
they're working.
So, I wonder if we could go there before the parade starts.
Only take a few minutes, I assure you.
Are you sure we'll be back in time?
[speaking French]
-What did he say? -I haven't the slightest.
[cheerful music playing]
[man shouting indistinctly]
[dog barking]
Come, come, we have little time.
Five minutes.
Up here.
Here we go.
Doesn't that mean "forbidden"?
-Not in Russian, my dear. -Oh.
What does it mean in Russian?
Hmm? Absolutely nothing.
[knock on door]
Ah.
Hold the door. This way.
Hurry, hurry. We haven't much time.
Now, come along.
Now, come along, my dears.
We must not dally.
-Where are we? -Ah, where are we?
Yes, well, somewhere exactly between here and there,
which is halfway between sooner or later,
and very nearly up and down.
Now, do come along. We haven't much time.
Hi, boss!
I'm afraid things aren't working well at all.
Well, they simply must!
We have no choice, you know!
Do come along, this way.
Ah, thank you so much for coming, Mrs. Garrett,
Ms. Smith.
We all love Benji so much.
But then what difference does love make
if the boss doesn't go?
It's all for naught, and naught for all.
[chuckling] Have you never seen an elf before?
Now, do come along, please. We really must hurry.
Well, I'm afraid we're a little confused.
Oh, that's certainly nothing to be afraid of.
We all get confused, because it's a confusing world.
Not just here, but there.
Though it shouldn't be, but it is, isn't it? Or is it?
But where is here?
Where is here?
Well, yes, where would you like it to be?
Switzerland, Texas, the North Pole?
What?
Please, don't confuse us any more than we already are.
We would just like to know what's going on.
-My dear-- -[elf] Look out below!
Oh dear.
Whatever it is, it's obviously
not going very well.
But I'm sure they'll be ready in time.
You see, my little people are going in my place
this year.
-Going where? -Everywhere.
You see, I fell into a bit of bad luck,
and I doubt that I could get down
even the largest of chimneys with this.
[elf] Look out!
If he can't handle the sleigh by itself,
how is he ever going to handle it with
flying reindeer?
Flying reindeer?
Oh, no, no, no. Not always.
I have several modes of transportation.
In some countries, I ride a camel.
[Cindy] A camel?
[Kris Kringle] Yes. Sometimes, it's a horse
or a donkey.
But believe it or not, in England, I ride
a white goat.
-A white goat. -In England.
Do you get the feeling he wants us to believe
he's really Santa Claus?
My dear, I only want you to believe one thing,
and that is that we're very late,
and if we don't hurry along, you'll miss the parade.
So, do come, please.
Where are your reindeer?
Reindeer? Oh, uh...
There they are.
[Patsy] But that looks like a birdcage!
Well, of course. We must keep the lid
on them somehow.
They have a tendency to flit about, you know.
Well, where's Rudolph?
Rudolph, oh, I'm afraid he's in the shop
getting his batteries recharged.
But, Dancer, well that's another problem.
Out again?
[Kris Kringle] Oh, dear.
Get Cupid out here, and let Blitzen nuzzle her ear.
That'll get him down.
Dancer's a very jealous reindeer, you know.
I don't believe this.
But you're supposed to be at the North Pole.
Why aren't you at the North Pole?
Ah, well, we were actually for a time,
but it's frightfully cold up there,
and this is so much more centrally located.
Well, where's your red suit?
In the United States, Santa Claus wears a red suit.
Does he?
[chuckling] Of course I do.
It's right there in the wardrobe,
which, incidentally, is our first stop.
But several years ago, my parents told me that he--
[chuckling] I know.
So did mine.
[Kris Kringle] Anybody home?
Anybody home?
Ah, come in, come in.
I want you to meet the elves who make
all my different outfits.
-How many outfits do you have? -How many what?
Oh, I'm afraid I have no idea.
You see, people in different countries all think of me
in different ways, so I have to be different.
That is to say, however they want me to be.
Now, where could those two be?
Needles, Pins, I have a surprise for you!
A surprise?
Don't tell me,
your leg is healed, and you're making
the Christmas Eve trip yourself.
And we can stop working 24 hours a day
making clothes for Santa Claus substitutes.
Right?
Wrong.
I have brought someone to see you.
What do you think?
Well, the one on the left would do okay for Scandinavia.
But the one on the right... Mm...
I don't know.
Maybe Iceland?
Well, let's get to work.
No, no, no, no. Not them.
That is to say, I did bring them,
but them is not who I was talking about.
I mean, them are not who I was talking, I mean--
Oh, we know what you mean.
But we still don't know who you're talking about.
Oh I think he's talking about Benji.
Benji?
Yes. That's it, of course!
Benji! [chuckles]
Benji, in person.
Or should I say, in dogson?
[Benji barks sharply]
No, I suppose not.
[Needles] What a pleasant surprise.
To get a surprise from the boss
is really a surprise!
Yeah, it's really been the pits around here
since the boss broke his leg.
You came just at the right time, Benji.
Oh, well, thank you.
Now, for that you get a special Christmas present
from Needles and Pins.
Now, let's see.
Oh, how about this?
This is the necklace the boss used
to wear in Turkey.
Why, it's gorgeous, but it looks very expensive.
Why don't you wear it anymore?
Oh, overkill. It's a bit gaudy with white.
-You wore white in Turkey? -Of course.
Would you like to see the whole outfit?
Yeah.
[Kris Kringle] Needles, Pins.
It's quite spiffy actually.
[Turkish Christmas music playing]
There. Much better without the necklace, don't you think?
And this is how I looked in Saxon, England.
[British Christmas music playing]
Mm. Korea.
[Asian Christmas music playing]
And the good old USA.
[patriotic American music playing]
I'll be back in about two or three minutes.
[laughing merrily]
What do you think, hmm?
Will they buy this in the States?
That's not the question.
The question is, will they buy this in the States?
Yes, well...
Interesting, don't you think?
For the first time, my little people
are going to get to experience, first hand,
all the problems of running around the globe
delivering presents, changing wardrobe in every country.
Changing wardrobe in every country.
Dear, oh dear.
It'd be so much easier if everyone liked the same me.
But I suppose if it was the same,
it wouldn't be the same, would it?
Or would it?
I don't know.
Anyway, I hope you'll excuse me
while I change back into my most comfortable self.
Carrying all this extra weight
gets to be quite tiresome, you know.
There.
That feels much better.
I think you forgot something.
Hmm?
Well, nobody's perfect.
Whatever is that?
This is your wardrobe from Kabur.
But it's getting terribly old-fashioned and dull.
So we thought it was time to move up,
move out, start a new trend, so to speak.
It's new, it's now, it's different, it's you!
But the excitement starts slow and builds up.
First, we add a little flash to the old tunic,
broaden the shoulders, drape the sleeve longer.
And next year, we get rid of that hood.
Passe, dead, out of touch.
Do you know what I mean?
Turn it into a collar that means something.
And those pants!
Where did we get those pants?
Out, for sure.
We add these out-of-sight boots,
top it off with a scarf,
and you're letting them know where you're at.
They'll love it, trust me!
What do you think?
I hate it.
See? It's awful. I told you he'd hate it.
Get it out of here!
Simple stars are in, not that glitter rock stuff.
And since the boss ain't going,
I'm the one that's got to wear it.
Then you're really not going on Christmas Eve?
I'm afraid I have very little choice
in the matter.
But he can't not go.
Children all over the world are gonna be counting on you.
My dears, my dears, most of my elves
have been with me for centuries.
And I'm sure they'll do just fine.
I hope they'll do just fine.
And you can go south of the Stendy line,
and you arrive right here.
But how do you get to all those places in just one night?
Oh, yes. Well, of course,
it's not like the old days.
No, in the old days, we used to fly
by the seat of our pants.
But now, there are so many more people to cover.
I couldn't possibly do it without CEPAC.
CEPAC.
Christmas Eve Planning And Communications.
Here we receive radar, weather satellite,
political and traffic information from
all over the world.
Our computers can re-plot my route
at a moment's notice,
and instantly notify me and the network of reporters
who make up a communication system
that spans the entire globe.
I still don't understand how you do it all
in just one night.
Yes, well, of course, it would obviously
be impossible
if I were to do it in the standard
ten or 12-hour night.
But if my route is plotted correctly, and I travel
in the right direction, I have a full 24 hours of night.
[Cindy] 24 hours?
I couldn't possibly do it in any less, could I?
If you'll just step over here, I'll explain how it works.
Sun, please!
Oh. [chuckling]
Now, if I travel in this direction,
and the world travels in that direction,
and the sun stays there.
I'm so sorry.
I do see that you find it very difficult to understand.
It's a very complicated theory,
and it'd take an awful lot of time.
And time is what we have not got a lot of,
because we must get back to the great hall
before the parade.
Ah, good.
Just in time for mail call.
Come along.
Now, this, this is where it all happens.
This is where Christmas really begins.
But these elves all look like they're from
different countries.
Can you think of a better way to handle it?
The elves from each country
get the mail from their own country.
They sort it, fill the orders,
and prepare them for delivery.
Then they serve as an advance party.
They go back home to arrange routes,
and schedules ready for my arrival.
[Patsy] Boy, that is some organization.
Yes, indeed. Attention!
[Speaking French and Italian]
And now, hear this.
We have a special guest for you today. Yes.
We know you're all busy working,
and you can't go to the parade in town,
so you might like to come here
and meet the parade marshal, the famous movie star, Benji!
-[cheering] -Steady...
However do you keep up with it all?
Oh, that's easy.
I'm just what people think of me.
I am... a multiplicity.
A what?
♪ I am a multiplicity ♪
♪ A splitted personality ♪
♪ I'm more than one And even more than two ♪
♪ Hmm ♪
♪ I'm just what People think of me ♪
♪ And that's what I must always be ♪
♪ So think of me, please Kindly when you do ♪
♪ I change my size And shape and style ♪
♪ To fit each size And shape of child ♪
♪ Wherever they may be You will perceive ♪
♪ I must know all their names ♪
♪ As you know who's to blame ♪
♪ If anyone's left out On Christmas Eve ♪
♪ Just what I may Appear to be ♪
♪ Depends on nationality ♪
♪ Which never is the same And that is true ♪
♪ So each December ♪
♪ I must remember ♪
♪ Who I should be for you ♪
♪ And you, and you ♪
♪ I am a multiplicity ♪
♪ A splitted personality ♪
♪ Why all of me Would fill a giant hall ♪
♪ I'm just what People think of me ♪
♪ And that's what I must always be ♪
♪ So think me nice Or don't think me at all ♪
-[vocalizing] -[upbeat music playing]
[traditional Mediterranean music playing]
[traditional oriental music playing]
[traditional Spanish music playing]
♪ I am a multiplicity ♪
♪ A splitted personality ♪
♪ I'm more than one And even more than two ♪
♪ Three, four, five, six ♪
♪ I'm just what People think of me ♪
♪ And that's what I must always be ♪
♪ So think me nice Or don't think me at all ♪
♪ I'm just what People think of me ♪
♪ And that's what I must always be ♪
♪ So think of me Please kindly when ♪
♪ So think of me please ♪
♪ Kindly when you do ♪
But why?
Why would you, Santa Claus, or Kris Kringle,
or whichever you want to call yourself,
lie about having a broken leg?
Yes, well...
Well, you see, Cindy, for once in my life,
for once in all my hundreds
of years of life,
I just wanted to be like everyone else in the world.
I just wanted to be at home on Christmas Eve.
Well, I never thought that ...
I mean, I never realized that you had...
The truth is I was just being selfish.
I mean, you're what Christmas Eve is all about.
You've spent your whole life making Christmas Eve
something for people to look forward to.
If anybody in the whole world deserves
to be home on Christmas Eve, you certainly do.
I've never seen anyone so at home with strangers.
I don't understand it.
I do.
[Cindy] Where is your home anyway?
Home.
Home, Cindy, is wherever someone loves you.
[chuckles] I've always been home on Christmas Eve.
I have a million homes all over the world!
Quick, everyone, back to work!
We mustn't let anything stand in the way
of me being in all my homes
on Christmas Eve!
[all cheering]
Does that mean you're going?
Of course I'm going!
I'm gonna be in every one of my homes on Christmas Eve,
and that includes yours, and you can count on it!
[chuckles]
Thanks to you, it looks as if it's gonna be
Christmas as usual, eh?
And you, ladies.
Needless to say, your visit has been quite productive.
And we all thank you very much.
Thank you for bringing us here.
Yes, this has been quite an experience.
I can't wait to get back and tell my friends about it.
Oh, tell your friends.
I do apologize, but I'm afraid that will be quite impossible.
You'll remember almost nothing of your visit here,
except, of course, for a rather special warm feeling.
You see, where we are must be kept a secret,
or we'd never get any work done.
But it's important that people know you're here.
No, Cindy.
It's not important that they know I'm here.
Just that they know, as you know,
that I am.
Now, off you go.
But how will they know what I know
if I don't know what I know?
I'm afraid I don't know.
But I do know that it's almost time
for the parade to begin, so I'm glad you're back.
I'm Herr Bringle, the parade master.
And you must be Fraeulein Garret
and Fraeulein Smith,
and Herr Benji.
What a wonderful disposition for a movie star.
And what a beautiful gold collar.
Did you get this for Christmas?
[dramatic music playing]
Nobody's perfect. [chuckles]